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The Famous Five Go Boating
The Five had been plotting for weeks, as soon as school was out
on Fri. 25th Feb. 2000, they would high tail it to the estuary;
hijack a boat; storm Drake's Island and fire the cannon. "Stewpot"
Price came up with the first great idea, "lets get our own boat
and talk it with us". The other 4 "Handy Andy" Jacks, "Slim" Jennings,
"Pockets" Barnard and "Blackeyed Bob" Mulholland (known as BB),
after much debate agreed though only because it was Stewpot's crisps
and he wouldn't let any one have any unless they agreed. The new
boat was nicknamed "Pearl Diver", because BB saw this great film
about scantly clad girls diving for pearls.
The Friday arrived and the Famous Five planned to rendezvous at
Monty's Guesthouse. Pockets and Slim arrived first so waited in
the tea-rooms for the rest of the crew. Horror of Horrors they discovered
another 5 man crew planning the same raid for the same time. This
ugly looking bunch came from a far off land called Studley and spoke
with foreign tongue, but worst of all 3 of em were Girlies. This
crew, Adam, Mike and the Girlies Mags, Trout and Debs came equipped
with their own boat "Ring-In-Wet".
As the rest of the Famous Five arrived and the Ginger Ale flowed
a new plan was hatched: The Famous Five and Studley Five should
join forces and with both boats zip around the estuary terrorising
the locals. One problem still remained; no one from either crew
could drive the boats; still we could capture some drunken Captains
in the morning.
Saturday morning and over a hearty breakfast the 2 crew espied
a Triumvirate of rum looking characters. As luck would have it they
were Captains "Bellied", "Tricky" and Pugwash" alias Bullard, Fairless
and Westward and could get hold of another boat the "Seahorse".
Having nothing better to do the Triumvirate offered to Captain the
3 boats. With a quick press ganging of a father and son, Barry and
Alex Walker both fully equipped in new yachting attire the 3 four
man person crews were ready for action.
The Triumvirate insisted on lecturing the crews on all sorts of
dead interesting stuff, types of boats, equipment, legal stuff,
chart reading, bouyage, tides, weather, position fixing and safety;
so a morning had gone without anyone getting wet. It was generally
suspected that the Triumvirate needed this time to sober up from
the night before.
After a hasty lunch the fun began with the 3 boats launched. Capt.
Tricky wanted to play with the engine on the "Ring-In-Wet" so his
crew was split twixt Capts Bellied and Pugwash. In the calm of the
harbour the basics were learned, i.e. forward, backward, left, right,
fast, slow, steering, mooring, towing and rules of the sea, all
of which had nautical sounding words attached to them like ahead,
astern, port, etc. During this time Capt. Tricky had finished playing
so great fun was had coming along side with grappling irons and
swinging from the yardarms to board the Pirate's ship. Back in reality
the fun was upped by setting forth beyond the harbour and venturing
outside the breakwater to skip the crests of force 4/5 waves.
It must be admitted that some poetic license was used with the
expression skip the crest of the force 4/5 waves. Other expressions
could include, ploughed, plunged, dove, slammed, buffeted, crashed,
tossed, white knuckle ride, Alton Tower's eat my shorts. Other expressions
for gentle sea spray licking one's cheeks could be, buckets of water,
torrents, deluge, stinging, lashing, blinding spray whipping into
the eyes, it is surprising how much salt water stings when blasted
into the eyes. As the light began to fade the crews returned to
the comfort of shore, food and drink with terra firma being fore
most in the mind.
The Famous Five arranged to meet along the shore at the New Inn
to gauge the level of trauma imposed upon the natives.
Again Pockets and Slim arrived first and were on their second lemonade
before Stewpot, Handy Andy and BB arrived. The Hostel slowly filled
with natives; the Band began to strike and cross table talk of adventures
abounded. Pockets was becoming concerned that the salt spray had
affected his fellow gang member's eyes for they were forever moving
to port.
The Famous Five entertained the locals with some new pub games
"Who's got the most mobile phones" and "Who's phone is going to
ring next"; one could tell the locals were impressed. Handy Andy
offered Stewpot the loan of one of his mobiles because Stewpot thought
that his must be broken, well it hadn't rung for 10 minutes.
As time past the Studley 5 and the Triumvirate swelled the throng
and the 3 Capts. regaled their crews with tales of great adventures,
of sea monsters, the Seven Seas, the treasures, the ports, the women.
Pockets was more concerned than ever not only were eyes to port
but tongues were hanging; the salt water was having strange effects.
Capts. bellied and Tricky spent the evening Trout fishing; success
or failure ? discretion dictates. Seating arrangements for the two
5's and one 3 were fluid as calls to nature came into play during
which time Pockets moved to view the same vista as the other gang
members. Salt water my ass, Cleavage! large; prominent; lead to
eyes port tongues hanging, we are talking 1st class cleavage.
Sunday, with minor differences, was much like Saturday only more
so as the 4/5 waves seemed to materialised within the break water.
This time it was Capt. Pugwash playing with his outboard. "Engine
flooded! Rum fumes from the night before more likely. This allowed
a re-run of yesterdays boarding game. Sunday was again a mixture
of skill development and soakings, including compass work, transits,
laying off, anchors away, SMB shadowing and best of all Hat Over
Board. During one of the man over board trials BB was introduced
to the pleasures of plunge baths nearly acquiring a new nickname
of "Dunking Bob". After man over board drills a real life rescue
had to be executed. Skimming the force 4 waves, Debs yells "Hat
over board", after the 3rd call and Capt. Pugwash ordering "go back
and get the B****y thing" Pockets swung into action, throttle back,
hard to starboard, back along the wake, everyone playing Eye Spy,
"Hat Ahoy", deft manoeuvring, retrieve, "Hooray", throttle up and
away. Over the course of the two days the Novice Helmsmenpersons
through experience and courage became more adept at crew safety
and comfort.
So the Famous Five's trip to the estuary came to an end, so back
to shore, wash down the boats and return Pearl Diver to it's gift
wrapping. Back on their bikes they head North to slumber peacefully
on feathered mattress and dream of Pirate adventures and dusky maidens.
The final verdict upon the adventure was "Wet, Wet, Wet but Fun,
Fun, Fun"
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